I don't have a bucket full of all the things I want to do before I die. What I do have and have always had is a desire to enjoy my life, through work and pleasure. I am passionate about change and helping others. Do I need a bucket I keep asking myself, do you know the answer?
When I was diagnosed with cancer the first time I had no money other than to pay bills, and that was not a certainty most of the time. Even though I worked 3 jobs, which paid minimum wage, I could hardly make ends meet, all of my 4 children ranging in age from 10 up to 18 had part time jobs. I remember it was Christmas Eve and I finished work early so I could go and talk to my oncologist and find out just how bad my breast cancer was and what kind of treatment I would need. Even then I did not think about wishing I could go on holiday and get away from it all, my first thought was getting rid of the cancer and being alive to take care of my children and live my life as best I could. I did get a 5 week break away from home, at the Princess Margaret Lodge in Toronto, through no choice of mine, whilst I went through my radiation treatment.
When I said I don't have a bucket full of the things I want to do before I die, that does not mean I have no goals and needs. I want to travel more, I want to plant more flowers in my garden, I want to enjoy my family and be there for them, I want to go shopping and spend money on frivolous items. I just don't fill up a bucket, I work towards my goals, one step at a time, and some I may never fulfill, but I will try. If I had a bucket full of the many things I would love to do before I die it would scare me, I would keep picking it up and it would feel so heavy and I would want to see it empty faster than slower. Why put this pressure on myself?
Whether you have a bucket or not, be happy with the life you have and work towards more, if more is what you want. But, remember, more is not always what you want in the end, just enough is often enough. Buckets full of things you want may weigh heavy on you and bring you down.
I don't need a bucket after all :)
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