(First of all, I would like to apologize for the uncaught typo in Part 1 of this article. Our five senses receive 2 million bits of information per second (not 200 million). The typo was caught in a couple of places and missed in a couple of others after the article was published.)
If you missed Part 1 of this article, you can find it in the featured articles section under the “More” link. Part 1 explores how values are formed as well as how they motivate us towards and away from our goals. Values merited a deeper exploration because of the crucial role they play in determining our behaviour in every arena of our lives. In Part 2, I explore how our values can sometimes sabotage our businesses and how to identify possible values in conflict. In Part 3 (next month), I will explore how to create strategies to help you overcome these conflicts.
Our Businesses ARE our Values
Whether we are entrepreneurs or leaders in a corporation, our leadership style is a direct reflection of everything we believe and value. In essence, who we are is ultimately what our businesses become. For example, if the owner of a business believes the purpose is to “make a quick sale,” the company’s systems and policies will be designed to meet that purpose. If the owner believes in customer service and standing behind his or her products and services, the systems and policies of the company will reflect that belief as well. Similarly, if the leader of a company prefers a fast pace with lots of change, the types of contracts and clients the company seeks will reflect that preference for speed and change. If the leader prefers to take time, exploring the ins and outs of a contract, then the processes will reflect the preference for more detailed exploration before committing to new work.
More important, however, is that a conflict between two or more higher ranked values can actually create friction and stop our progress. Please let me explain. Most humans have a hierarchy of values. In other words, we have some values we consider to be more important than others. If we are ever in a situation where we have to choose between these two values, most often the higher ranked value will win. If there is something you deeply desire in your life or business, and you do not have it, it is likely that two or more of your values are in conflict.
We Will Sacrifice Lower-Ranked Values for Higher-Ranked Values
This conflict between values can easily be seen in the fact that many people never risk opening their own businesses. For those individuals, the value of security or family ranks higher than freedom, self-direction, or autonomy. For others, who easily label themselves entrepreneurs, freedom, or the need to build something of their own creation, ranks higher than security. (It is also important to mention that in addition to values, self-image, fears, and beliefs play a role in why many people stay in situations they dislike.)
There are no rights or wrongs about which values are ranked highest on our personal lists. Everyone is unique, and we have the right to hold our own values exactly as they are. In fact, trying to live outside our values is often what leads to illness and dissatisfaction in our lives. In most cases, clients come to see me, whether for coaching or hypnotherapy, because something is missing in their lives or businesses. Often, the root of this absence is that they are not being true to their highest-ranked values. The subconscious mind will allow us to live a lie only for so long before it takes matters into its own hands!
As I mentioned in Part 1 of this article, our values are one of the major filters the mind uses to screen information down from 2 million bits per second to a more manageable 7–9 bits per second. In most cases, our top 5–10 values determine our direction in everything. At the end of the day, most people will do what it takes to ensure their highest ranked values are preserved. For example, if business and financial success is ranked higher on a person’s values scale than relationships, the individual will likely miss family events for the sake of clients or income. If relationships are ranked higher than business, the individual will be more willing to set aside or reschedule work, or turn off the smartphone, in order to be actively involved with family.
The example just used has the potential to spark judgements about whether family or business should be more important. Both are deeply important. Of course, a balance between the two is preferable. What is crucial is understanding where were are likely to sacrifice and where we are likely to overcommit, so we can create strategies to ensure we are giving all of our values attention—not just the highest-ranked ones. If we want to have fulfilling work AND fulfilling relationships, not to mention health, in our lives, then it is essential that we give all of them an amount of our attention.
Overcoming the Conflicts Between Values
In my case, making a meaningful contribution and helping others achieve their goals are two of my highest-ranked values. If I don’t force myself to be ruthless about ensuring I schedule exercise and time off in my calendar, I would easily put everyone else’s needs ahead of my own. Fortunately, integrity is also one of my highest-ranked values. So, if I’m going to encourage my clients to exercise, eat well, get enough rest, and ensure they spend time with friends and family, I need to be doing the same thing. The fact that good health, friends, and family are also on my values list is of course helpful. However, meaningful contribution is higher ranked than good health. If I’m not careful, I will sacrifice my health for my work. Knowing this about myself makes it easier to put a plan in place to overcome the conflict between the values.
The strategy for reconciling the conflict between values has three parts:
1. Identifying the conflict;
2. Creating strategies to resolve the conflict (we’ll explore these in next month’s article); and
3. Being constantly diligent around your strategies.
Identifying Values Conflicts
So, let’s talk about you! Maybe you can already see some of the conflicts between your values as you read this. What are you avoiding in your business? Where are you sacrificing something you know is important—such as diet or sleep? Does “being liked” rank above “making sound business decisions”? Attached is a values exercise I give to many of my clients. Because your business and your personal life always reflect your top 5 values, it is valuable to know what they are and where your conflicts are showing up. This exercise is different from most other values exercises. Everyone who has completed it has been surprised by the results. I encourage you to set aside an hour or so to complete it. I have attached it as a file for ease and space. Feel free to forward it to others you think might benefit from it. If you have any questions about the exercise, or would like to chat about your results and some next steps, please call or email. Enjoy!
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