Researchers such as, Mihaly Csikszentmihaly suggest that our senses receive 2 million bits of information per second. Most of this information is stored in the unconscious mind, and we are unaware of it. Our conscious mind can hold and pay attention to only about seven bits of information per second. Our minds determine which seven (out of 200 million) bits of information per second to pay attention to and filter out the rest. Needless to say, a lot of information per second is lost!
But, how do our minds determine which seven bits of information are important? Easy. They send information through a series of filters whose purpose is to reduce 200 million bits of information per second down to seven. In order to do this, our minds must generalize, distort, and delete most of what we see, hear, and experience. These filters include our past experiences, time, language, memories, decisions, meta programs, beliefs, attitudes, and values.
Our personal value systems determine why we do things. They are our “hot buttons” and drive all of our behaviours. In essence, values are our motivators (and de-motivators). Our values affect everything from our choice of friends to the types of goods we purchase to how we run our businesses.
How Values Are Formed
Values are formed in three main ways. They are imprinted, modelled, or socialized into us.
Imprinting – Occurs mostly between the ages of 0 and 7 and is typically unconscious. Imprinted values are largely learned from our families and primary caregivers.
Modelling – Occurs mostly between the ages of 8 and 13 when we learn to copy and imitate others, especially friends. Some of our most important core values form around the age of 10.
Socialization – Occurs mostly between the ages of 14 and 21. It is during this time that we learn the values that will have the greatest impacts on our relationships—including our staff, suppliers, and customers!
Of course we continue to learn, adapt, and change throughout our lives. However, most of our values are firmly installed by age 21. Yes, we can change our values after that age, but it requires a conscious decision to do so and deliberate action. Releasing out-dated beliefs, emotional blocks, and value systems, and creating more effective ones, are the primary focuses of the hypnotherapy field.
How Values Impact Our Behaviour
As mentioned above, values drive our behaviour. They do so in two primary ways: by moving us towards or away from things, experiences, and people.
Towards Values – These values move us in the direction of things we desire to increase. They motivate and inspire us through possibility. They move us in the direction we desire. Towards values might include things such as love, freedom, health, happiness, and wealth.
Away From Values – These values move us away from things we want to decrease or avoid. They move us away from situations and often motivate us through fear. Away from values might include guilt, sadness, loneliness, anger, and poverty.
Often in the beginning of a change we are motivated by away from values. For example, we start a fitness program because we have a weight or health issue. We want to get away from the illness or negative body image. The challenge with away from strategies is that once we are away from whatever we wanted to avoid or achieve a level of success, they cease to motivate us. This is why we suddenly start missing the gym or cheating on our diets. Away from motivators also don’t have any goals or outcomes aside from avoiding something. Being a safe distance from what we want to avoid does not mean we are closer to safety. For example, many people who are their medically ideal body weight are in worse health than those 20 pounds over their medically ideal weight.
Towards values create internal motivators. They inspire us towards something we want more of in our lives. They tend to keep us moving forward until we achieve our goals. With a towards value, it is not enough to move away from being overweight. A towards values takes us to overall health, physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually. There is a goal of maintaining the outcome. This is why most coaches (and definitely hypnotherapists) will ask us what we really want.
What We Focus on Is What We Get
Have you ever noticed that what we pay attention to grows? That is because our subconscious minds work to bring us more of whatever we think about most often. If we think about avoiding poverty, we get more need to avoid poverty. If we think about enjoying wealth, we get more enjoying. Away from values tend to keep us focused on what we don’t want. Towards values keep us focused on what we do want.
While we need a combination of both values, there is research to show that people with more towards values tend to be happier and more successful. This is because we invest time, money, and energy fulfilling our values, regardless of which ones we are using. It is also because towards values move us in direction of positive outcomes.
Another example is hiking in the woods and coming across a bear. Our away from strategy is simply to get away from the bear. However, if we just run blindly in the woods, we will get away from the bear and most likely become lost in the process. Our towards strategy might be to get to help. This strategy might move us in the direction of the park ranger station, where we are away from the bear and in a safe location.
How Values Impact our Businesses
Let me ask you a tough question. Why did you start your own business? When you started your business, which value was operating? Were you getting away from the craziness of the workplace, did you not want to work for others, or did you have a vision of bringing something new into the world? Were you moving away from or towards something?
The business is the reflection of the owner. Our values are our businesses’ values.
If you started your business with more away from values, I encourage you to find some towards values to help you stay focused and moving forward. If you started with more towards values, good for you. Be sure in the process you also do a thorough investigation of the challenges you might encounter, so you can see potential dangers and put strategies in place to overcome them.
How Values Impact our Clients
Values direct our buying habits. Period. Our clients purchase our products or services based on whether they are moving towards or away from something.
Values direct our selling habits. Period. We sell and create sales pitches based on whether we are moving towards or away from something.
People who operate mostly from away from values tend to notice what can go wrong. They are excellent at conducting risk analyses and managing crises. They tend to be seen as negative by those who operate from towards values.
People who operate mostly from towards values tend to focus on their goals and possibilities. The sometimes overlook the possible challenges they could experience. They tend to be seen as naïve by away from people.
The secret is to be aware of our own biases and how we might be coming across to our potential clients. We also need to listen carefully to when are clients are operating from away from or towards values and match those concerns. A good sales presentation will contain a combination of the two, with a slight emphasis on whichever value system your client favours.
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