I only became a working mum after I moved to Canada to start a new life with my husband a four children. The decision had been made before we had our family that my husband would continue to work, he had a career I did not, and I would be a stay at home mum. We both agreed and were happy with this decision and being a stay at home mum is more than a full time job, it is 24/7. It is more common today for dads to chose to stay at home, but not so much when I had my children.
People would belittle my choice to stay at home with my children and I was often asked if I was bored or felt insignificant because I had no full time career. But my career, at that time, was being a stay at home mum and I did a great job. I was a wonderful mum and my children had the best of me and I them. I was there for all their important moments, I was there to mop up their tears, or rush to school when an emergency call came. I was there to cheer them on at sports day, school plays and suchlike.
I was there and I loved every minute of it. Having the time to drive my children to their swimming lessons and be in the present, watching them and enjoying their progress. Dancing lessons, judo, soccer, cub scouts, all the fun things my children loved to do and I could be a part of their lives and enjoy seeing them flourish and grow and become more confident.
After divorce, financial challenges and cancer twice I worked three low paying jobs and my youngest child was only 7, with three brothers ranging in age from 10 up to 15. I juggled my life so that I could be there for my children, whenever possible, and I remember on one occasion I took my daughter to work with me at the shoe store where I worked 12 hour shifts because it was the only solution at the time. One of my other jobs was selling vacuums and my two youngest sometimes came with me if they were on school holidays and they would help me navigate by reading the map, and generally keep me company. It was a solution, not a great one, but it meant we were together.
I used to feel guilty and fear my children had missed out because of the situation we were in, but they assure me I was the best mum, I did what I had to do - for them - and to ensure we had a roof over our head and could pay the bills. My children have nothing but normal happy memories of their childhood filled with fun times and a mum and dad who loved them dearly.
The opportunity that changed my life forever and gave me the chance to live yet another chapter of my life, came to me in a very roundabout way. It was not something I had planned for, or even thought about and if I had not been diagnosed with breast cancer a second time, I doubt I would be living the life I am today. I became a small business owner, but only after being inspired by someone who spoke at the school I was attending, where I was completing a one year course.
I see my life as lots of different chapters in a book, the first chapter is when I am living at home with my parents. The second chapter shares how a shy child at High School was less than motivated and scared to ask for help. The third chapter is all hearts and roses and I fall in love for the first time and get married to the man I love. The fourth chapter is overflowing with the love I have for my children and how my live revolves around their happiness.One chapter in particular sees me coping with cancer twice, and when I look back now I really have no idea how I got through those times, but I did.
There are so many chapters in my life, so many wonderful opportunities and each chapter signifies a change in my life, and I see how much I have changed over the years. I have no regrets about the way my life has evolved and is still continuing to do so. I chose the path I would take, I made the decisions to do what I did and to enjoy every minute. When challenges crossed my path I dealt with them the best I could.
I was once known as someones daughter, or wife, or mother, or employee, and I am proud to be all of those things, they have shaped my life to lead me to where I am today. I have come into my own and now I am known as me, Linda, a person in her own right who worked hard to start my own business and to continue to be a loving mother, a wife to my second husband and friend to many.
Don't look back on your life and think you missed out if you were a stay at home mum, or if you were a career mum or dad, be happy with the choices you made and feel proud to be the person you are. We can enjoy many changes in our lives if we look for the opportunities, and if we reach out of our comfort zone and be in the moment, be in the present.
If you decide to be just one person all of your life and you are happy with who you are, that's the best thing for you, but don't judge others who make different choices and don't look back and wish things had been different.
The main definition of evolve means to change. Evolve means to change or adapt to your surroundings or environment. Darwin said it was survival of the fittest and only the strong learned how to evolve to survive - ASK.com
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