Understanding non-verbal communication is critical for anyone in a position where influence is important. The better we understand the people we are working with, the better we can influence them.
Body language originates in the limbic region of the brain. It is natural and was the only way we communicated for thousands of years. It is ingrained in our DNA and very hard to suppress, making many non-verbal cues impossible for the subject to monitor or control.
Even the most skilled body language experts will leak non-verbal cues, especially when engaged in dialogue.
There is a lot of misinformation about interpreting body language. This content is usually produced by people who have read a book or two or watched a few videos but lack the depth of expertise required to properly teach the art.
The 3 Cs of interpreting body language are foundational to properly understanding what people’s non-verbal signals are telling you. So here they are:
Changes
Body language is not a static event. It’s not a picture or a snapshot. Body language is fluid communication, and we are looking for changes.
It is important to baseline the subject’s body language within the current situation so you can detect changes in their stress levels—whether they are increasing or decreasing. Detecting these changes provides great insight into their emotional motivators, hidden fears, and possible deception. Baselining their behavior also allows you to eliminate habitual body language that is not an indicator of anything significant so that you can discount it in your analysis.
Context
Body language is only strategically useful within the context of what is being discussed at that moment.
It is interesting to observe subtle cues that indicate someone’s stress levels are rising or falling. The real power, however, lies in being aware of what you were discussing at the moment those cues appeared. This provides valuable information because the trigger—not just the behavior itself—is what you want to identify.
For example, imagine how your deal qualification and line of questioning might change if you notice stress levels rising or falling at the exact moment you discuss topics like:
- A credit check
- Budget approval
- Whether their boss is on board
- Whether they have all the information they need
- When they’ll get back to you
- Their thoughts on the demo
- Whether they actually experience the problem you’re discussing
- Whether everything is truly “fine”
- The presence of cheaper competitive bids
- Your pricing being too high or over budget
Clusters
Body language cues must be interpreted in clusters. A singular non-verbal cue is just a signal, and it is very rare to draw a conclusion from it alone. A cluster of cues, however, forms a pattern that is much more indicative of what the subject is thinking and feeling.
Ignore anyone who claims that a single non-verbal cue is a definitive indicator of deception. No such cue exists.
However, many cues suggest heightened stress levels. When a cluster of them appears within the same context, it strongly indicates that something is being repressed or withheld.
If this happens during an interrogation, the person exhibiting those cues will quickly move to the top of the suspect list.
Conclusion
Learning to properly understand non-verbal communication is critical in sales, leadership, and influence. It allows you to better understand the needs, desires, and fears of the people you are working with, putting you in a much better position to help them.
It is both a skill and an art—one that requires practice and study to master.
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